Alison Dubois — a famous clairvoyant and medium on whom an American TV show is based — has an advice column in a magazine I read.
A young woman whose brother had died asked if he could hear her and her Mum crying for him. Dubois said he would prefer them not to be upset. Better to speak of the joy he brought them. The deceased like to hear people remembering the funny or quirky things about who they were.
But yes, he did hear them, and the more they talked to him out loud, the easier it would become for him to communicate with them.
Another woman said she was badly missing her late husband, afraid she hadn't told him enough how much she loved him. (I can relate to that one!) Dubois advised her, too, to talk to him out loud.
The dead can hear our every word, she said. We can tell them every day that we love them. And she suggested, “Before you go to sleep, ask him to visit you in your dreams”.
I talk to Andrew out loud a lot. I know, from some things a psychic recently told me (a woman who never met him and barely knew me) that he does indeed hear me. Through her, he responded to things I had been privately saying and feeling.
I did have a couple of dream visits from him soon after his death, and knew them to be real visits. But it simply hadn’t occurred to me that I could invite him to visit more often.