I arrange the pillows on the bed — the same number of pillows — so it looks more like one occupant than two. (Otherwise I am too forcibly reminded of the absent one.)
Each of us came to the marriage with a triangle pillow for sitting up in bed. His had a navy pillowcase, and was smaller than mine, which had an off-white one. And I had a big pyramid pillow. All have been very much used over the years and are still here. His triangle pillow was with him on both stays at Heritage Lodge, and in the hospital that last time.
I used to make our bed with a triangle pillow each side, on top of the pillows we slept on, and the pyramid pillow in front in the middle. (And a toy tiger sitting on top!) I put it back that way to show you:
When I make the bed now, I have the flat pillows either side, but I then arrange the triangle pillows atop them in the centre, one behind the other, and the pyramid pillow in front as usual. Psychologically it makes a big difference to me.
(I want to keep all the pillows, as I only have a single bed as a spare bed. If ever I get couples staying, I can vacate and give them the double, with two sets of pillows. Meanwhile there's nowhere else to store them all.)
The bedside tables and the pictures above the bed are somewhat different from how they used to be, too. That's for reasons of convenience and aesthetics, but it doesn't hurt in terms of reducing the glaring gap of his absence, either.
At night, I still sleep on 'my' side of the bed. The cats now stretch out on the other.
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