Saturday, April 25, 2015

Changing Focus and (Almost) Moving On

I seem to be done with processing the traumas of his final months — at last. Been doing it for three and a half years!

I am still having lots of memories of our time together, but now it is of the previous 19 years, and the many experiences it makes me happy to recall. Even things that weren't especially happy in themselves are happy memories now, because we really did have a good life together and enjoyed it.

This too is processing, in that I find myself going over and over these memories now, just as I did with the traumatic ones. Well, whatever's necessary, I guess. One day it may all settle down to just random happy memories, and then I suppose I'll be ready to really move on.


  1. Hi Rosemary...Thanks for sharing this. I am sorry for the loss of your dear husband. My very best friend lost her husband to pancreatic cancer, and she was so lost and so sad without him. I tried to be there for her when she wanted and needed to talk. At first she said she felt numb and didn't know how to grieve...but then it hit her and she was sad all of the time. I didn't always know what to say, and since I still have my husband, I didn't truly know what she was going through from personal experience, but I loved my friend so much and I never abandoned her...even when she didn't feel like sharing her heart.
    Sadly after being a widow for 7 years, she got pancreatic cancer too and passed away on Christmas day a couple of years ago. Now I am grieving the loss of my wonderful friend whom I loved for 35 years!
    I miss her everyday and often can't believe she isn't here anymore. It feels like I will never find another friend who is as precious to me as Myrna was.
    But, I know I will see her again when I join her in heaven. I am so thankful for the 35 years we shared as best friends!
    My best to you, and prayers for healing and hope for brighter tomorrows!

    1. Dear Linda, thank you for sharing your story in return. Our oldest and best friends are so precious! I'm sure you were a great help and comfort to her.

  2. Nobody ever said it was easy, Rosemary. I guess the more happy memories you have the longer it takes. I find that things get stuck in a loop in my head and go round and round till I write them down (no, I'm not talking loss- I guess I'm still one of the lucky ones). You seem to be doing a fine job to me.

  3. I'm glad to hear from you again.


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