I seem to be done with processing the traumas of his final months — at last. Been doing it for three and a half years!
I am still having lots of memories of our time together, but now it is of the previous 19 years, and the many experiences it makes me happy to recall. Even things that weren't especially happy in themselves are happy memories now, because we really did have a good life together and enjoyed it.
This too is processing, in that I find myself going over and over these memories now, just as I did with the traumatic ones. Well, whatever's necessary, I guess. One day it may all settle down to just random happy memories, and then I suppose I'll be ready to really move on.
