After a very late night and promising myself a lie-in, I woke yesterday to a morning of drizzly rain with that set-in-for-the-day feel. Just the day for a lie-in — after feeding the cats, of course. In the old days, that's just what he and I would have done. We'd have brought our breakfast back to bed, sat up side by side reading our books (always reading something) and eventually we'd have snuggled down for snoozes and cuddles. Sometimes we'd have watched a show on the laptop.
We'd have stayed there, nice and cosy, half the day or more. We might have got up for lunch, or we might have brought that back to bed too. Sooner or later one or both of us might have gone to do something on the computer, or to turn on the telly, but we'd likely have stayed in our nightwear all day. It wasn't a frequent occurrence, but a thing we did as an occasional indulgence, on days when there were no pressing errands and the weather was like it was yesterday.
Yesterday fitted the bill except for one thing — no him to share it with. After all, the bed didn't look cosy but bleak. After I fed the cats, I breakfasted by the computer instead. That felt cosy enough, in my dressing-gown and warm slippers, interacting with friends and reading poems for a long, lazy morning. It took my mind off the empty bed in the other room. For a long, lazy afternoon, I watched some DVDs.
That was the culmination of a week of socialising — old friends to lunch at my place; an outing with new friends; a trip to the Neighbourhood Centre where I volunteer, for a luncheon in honour of the volunteers; a quick coffee with another old friend. And then the writers' group, with good discussions.
I have a nice life and no mistake. Can't complain. There are many things I enjoy about it, many moments of conscious pleasure. I expect there'll come a time when having half a day in bed will feel self-indulgent rather than lonely. But it's not yet.
Today I did go back to bed after feeding the cats — but that was because I was so darn tired. I stay up too late too often. I went straight back to sleep for an hour or so, which was good but not quite the same.