Here I am again, in the bed without him. Everything now is without him. And yet my mind is so full of him, all the time.
I am crying more now than I did at first. I have realised that sometimes I am releasing sorrows I couldn't before.
I recall a time he wanted to go through his office 'into that other office' to talk to the Prime Minister, whom he'd just seen on TV. He thought she was missing a point or two and wanted to tell her so. It was urgent. How disconcerted he was to find there was no other office through his.
Remembering this today, I sobbed for his confusion and distress, as I didn't when it happened. Then, I was busy dealing with it, and with him.
I'm sure I have many tears bottled up inside, like that.